Speech given at Brighton Party Conference, 2007

I am delighted to be invited to speak at the launch of Under 10 and Under Pressure. It’s a really important issue – and a growing problem.

Pressure wasn’t this bad when I was under ten – and no – I’m not going to divulge how many decades ago that was!

There has always been pressure on women’s appearances – throughout history. And although in the end – most people come to the realization that ‘it’s what is on the inside that counts’, there are still relatively few women, almost none, who are immune from self-doubt about their looks.

We all have a hard time growing up. Some of it really painful. Much of it to do with will I be liked? Will boys ask me out? And even if they do -that never really assuages the self doubt. And even if it does – just wait until you next see the TV, read a newspaper or pick up a magazine. Look younger now. Be slimmer tomorrow. The pressure to be self-conscious and anxious about your image is nearly relentless – and that much harder to deal with the younger you are.

I realise that by speaking here about young women and self-esteem, I really am preaching to the choir here. If you choose to come to this fringe chances are that you are interested in how to improve girls’ self-esteem or concerned about issues surrounding that.

We – and by this I mean society as a whole – have a tendency to measure self-esteem through external factors. This is also reinforced in the Opinion Leader Research which shows girls’ self-esteem to be intrinsically linked with having strong and supportive friendship groups.

So what kind of identity does Western society offer to women and girls? And why does this lead to such dramatic problems of self-esteem, such as depression and eating disorders?

First, I believe there are certain ‘universals’ that underpin the Western conception of self, regardless of gender.

These include notions of individual freedom and individual responsibility; religious and moral notions of good and evil, reward and punishment; and a kind of fairytale idealism – the pursuit of happiness-ever-after.

In other words, we control our destiny, and if we fail to achieve the ideal size, shape and life, it is our own fault. Of course the reality is often very different. But the myth is very strong.

Children are taught from an early age that ‘good’ behaviour is rewarded and ‘bad’ behaviour is punished. This is internalised to such an extent that, subconsciously, we learn to expect punishment if we are ‘bad’, and vice versa – if we are good, we should get what we deserve.

However, within this world view, cause and effect can easily become confused, to the extent that anything which is ‘rewarded’ is automatically perceived as being ‘good’. Therefore, anything that is expensive must be good; a TV show that has high ratings must be good and so on.

This is problematic for obvious reasons. However, the hidden implications are even more serious. Anyone who does not conform to this ideal standard must, logically, be ‘bad’. And if she is bad, that’s her fault and she must be punished. This creates huge psychological pressures: “I am not perfect, therefore I am bad and therefore I should be punished” – which triggers all sorts of depression, anxiety, anorexia, self-harm and other problems.

I believe that self-harm and eating disorders are symptoms of the mind’s attempt to restore balance in accordance with the unreasonable expectations created by society and ones self. So often, and you only have to look at postings on pro-ana or pro-mia blogs where those with anorexia or bulaemia post their feelings, to see this – that the girl suffering from an eating disorder does not feel she deserves to exist. “Why do people love me? I don’t deserve it!” “I do well at school, but I don’t deserve it”.

Women also seem more susceptible to this than men.

If you ask a woman what she likes least about herself, she will rarely say “I hate my personality”; instead she will say “I hate my teeth”, or thighs, or some other physical attribute.

It’s very easy to blame the media for promoting these superficial values, where physical perfection is prized over internal integrity. And certainly, the media IS the primary arbiter of our culture; its influence is ubiquitous and provides the benchmark by which we judge ourselves. However, laying the blame solely at their door is not desperately constructive.

Of course, the younger a person is, the less capacity they have to counter negative influences, due to their lack of experience and intellectual maturity. Children will be influenced by myths of perfection much more easily than adults. And it is becoming increasingly difficult for them to resist, given that ever-younger demographics are being targeted by advertisers, acting on behalf of business wishing to sell products to a new market.

Advertising is a highly refined form of psychological warfare based on the greatest motivator of all – fear. Advertising works because it creates the perpetual fear that we are not good enough, that we could become just a little better with product X or Y. This is another huge source of low self-esteem in our culture.

The lifestyle of the pre-teens has been the focus of a relatively recent campaign of commercialization, including adult-style clothing and makeup. Their role models are sexualized teenage pop stars and cartoon characters such as the fashion-conscious “Bratz” – impossibly-formed women-children – and the even scarier “Bratz Babyz” – fashionable toddlers with makeup, huge lips and huge eyes.

At the same time as being on the receiving end of unprecedented marketing and pressure, pre-teens have unprecedented access to the media via the internet – a double dose of pressure.

So the pressure to become mini-clones and mini-consumers is immense – and the effect on some girls has clearly been the same as on their teenage counterparts.

So what can we do to address these issues?

We have to counter the mantra that apparently you cannot be a complete and successful woman unless you have the appearance to match. I do not believe that this is the sort of message we want to be conveying to our children. However, neither do I think it is productive to deny the role that appearance has in our society.

The answer is balance – and alternatives and valuing other forms of status other than simply appearance. So, friends, activities, sport, study – and just being a nice person – kindness, humour, gentleness – need to become valued virtues.

There is obviously no easy solution, but I do believe that we must set examples to young girls to show that it is ok not to be perfect – in fact it is better.

Part of the solution lies with the media – and what a fantastic service it is that the BBC provides with its CBeebies channel, allowing children to enjoy the best of what TV can bring – the fun, the entertainment, the education – without being subjected to a commercial barrage of advertisements. That is public broadcasting at its very best.

In addition, one of the dominant themes of the report you are launching now is how important peer relationships are to young girls’ self-esteem.

This is why girl-guiding, or groups such as these, are so important, as they offer the perfect environment for girls to develop in a safe and secure environment – helping them to improve and develop positive self-esteem and to see values both in life and in their compatriots that go beyond appearance.

So thank you for what you’ve done so far, thank you for such an interesting and important report – and best of luck for the much more there is still to do.