Once upon a time – not long ago or far away – one of the Golden Elves who had served for five long years in the Glass Palace alongside the handsome Mayor (more of a frog really – but for the sake of the story, Ill make him handsome) had, at the will of the people, been sent to another Palace – an older, colder palace along the water.

This Stone Palace housed the Law Maker Elves. And the Law Maker Elves were ruled over by a once powerful and strong-willed Prince who now grew weaker by the day.

The event foretold last Christmas Eve to fall on the fifth day of the fifth month of the fifth year of the New Millennium had come to pass – and the Dark Prince’s power was much diminished. Once he had relied on 412 Red Elves to serve his every wish – but the people of the land had culled this to only 356.

So the old order was changing. Part of the trouble had actually been of the Prince’s own making. Firstly he had plunged the country into a war at the behest of a mad wizard who lived in a White House across the water. And then he had proclaimed that he would abdicate around the dawning of the tenth year of the New Millennium. Before the proclamation had even left his lips – his power began to drain away. Desperately searching for a worthwhile legacy to leave his people, the embattled Prince did what rulers since the dawn of time have done – he sought to limit their freedom. By iron rule would he forbid dissent.

The Prince declared that no person would any longer be able to walk the streets by right. Each subject would have a magical device planted behind their ear. Without rhyme nor reason, Law Servers would be able to stop anyone at will and with another magic device read all the private details of their life stored on the first one. Moreover, the Prince declared that for the peoples’ own protection, he would be able to put them in prison for 90 days and 90 nights without proof – just on suspicion.

One of the Prince’s jolly lieutenants in charge of these devilish schemes had been willing to see if there was a better way through – but even though he was large and cuddly like a teddy bear with very cute stick-out ears – the Prince would have none of it and over-ruled him thus making the jolly lieutenant’s voice rise an octave.

Now – whilst the Golden, Blue and Red Elves normally disagreed about everything – on the rightful freedoms of the citizens – many of them did agree. And they joined hands to fight the Prince. And for the first time in the whole of his rule the Prince was royally defeated.

And as the Prince’s power continued to ebb away, the dark, brooding and jealous figure of the Red Scottish Elf who lived next door was ever present, skulking in the wings (except when things were difficult, when he hid under the table and said nothing to anyone until finally he would whisper a few, quiet words of support for the Prince) – waiting and wishing for the day when he would be Prince.

With a clap of thunder and a flash of lightning – a new Chief Blue Elf suddenly appeared and offered his hand in allegiance to the Prince. The Blue Elf was very sweet and terribly well brought up having been to a very, very posh school for Elves and kept on saying how much he wanted to agree with the Prince. The same could not be said of the Prince’s own Red Elves who were busy being very troublesome and disobedient indeed. However, with the very welcome support of the Blue Elves the Prince would now be able to get all his evil edicts through.

That now left only the Golden Elves to fight for the people of the land against the now malevolent prince. The Prince decided he must weaken them too. He asked the Chief Golden Elf to come for a Christmas drink – and then sent a message to all the Town Criers through the land that the Chief Golden Elf had had a drink. And the Prince was helped in his mission by a few very ambitious Golden Elves whose heads were much, much bigger than their brains.

And then a very strange thing happened. On Christmas Eve as the snow began to fall – the Prince was walking homeward to his very nice house at No 10 Downing Street. And he had a revelation. Clearly if the brooding Scot became Prince – that would allow the Golden Elves and Blue Elves to grow stronger. Middle England was where the Prince’s power came from and Middle England would be frightened by the dour, brooding Scot.

It was his duty to stay – to fight his way back to complete power. The people needed him to stay! He would stay. And he wouldn’t just be prince – his mission was clear – he would be King!

And I’m the Christmas Fairy!

Happy Christmas.